Intentionality Read online

  “OUCH! What was that for?” I complained.

  “You are a twin! We have never had twins before. How have they been keeping that a secret?” he questioned in my head.

  “Look, I don’t think I should be this close to you, even if you are pretending to calm my furrowed brow. I thought you were going to help me attain the permission for the lanterns and then I will be able to leave with no further harm done. Surely Monos are allowed to talk to Seeders about equipment?” I communicated one last time.

  This talking in my head to a stranger is rather tiring. I shall make a move to the door and then to the viewing gallery in the hope that he brings my lantern permission form. Just wait until I tell Lily, she can bring them back and say thank you with a double meaning. That will actually help to tie up that lose end before we ascend.

  The door slid wide with its usual efficiency, nice to see that some things have stayed the same in my world in the last five minutes. The viewing room is dark and empty, which is a relief. The last thing I need is a nosy Seeder telling tales of a romantic Romeo and Juliet scenario.

  He has disappeared from the air hole, which means he is either just about to walk back into my life or has gone to alert the Acers of my misdemeanour. I don’t know what it was about our meeting that allowed me to think the rules could be broken, possibly just curiosity. How can this Mono talk in his head anyway? That is clearly a higher order skill passed on by my Evo-gene and even more puzzling is the fact that he has never heard my sister and me communicating. Perhaps he is relatively new to The Nest, some Monos are not born in The Nest, and they can request to be here.

  “Hi again,” he commented casually.

  He strolled through the door like he had always known me, full of confidence, an air of superiority and a hint of mischief. He looked me straight in the eye, passed me a form and two lanterns, then as bold as Summer or Skye asked me when I would be ascending and why I needed the lanterns.

  I was now trapped into a conversation with a Mono, in a confined space and without a chaperone. To make it worse his feeble attempt to cloak an intrusive question with a mundane one had made me giggle, so we were both standing grinning like ten-year-olds when my sister began communicating. She didn’t at this point know anything about my meeting with Prince Charming because I had been withholding my visual communications.

  “Mae, where are you? Summer needs us for one of those graduation meetings.”

  Now what shall I do? If I don’t answer and then run off he will get the impression that I will be going to tell tales about his indiscretion. If I do answer I may pass on the visual image of my co-conspirator and then Lily will be an accessory to the crime!

  “Can I just ask why you have been stood frozen for the last sixty seconds? Were my questions too personal? Sorry it’s just that I am so excited about finding another person like me. I am keen to know how long I have to use my skill before you ascend and I am left in the dark once more,” he added.

  He didn’t hear her! He can’t be as strong as us if he didn’t hear her. That doesn’t really explain why he can hear me now and not before, but it is a relief.

  “I am just receiving permission for the lanterns and then I will be straight there. I presume we need to meet in the recreation sector?”

  I couldn’t help myself I deliberately posed a question so that I can work out if he inadvertently missed Lily or he really is out of the loop.

  “Yep Mae, make sure you get two lanterns and you find out how to work them. See you soon, Take care,” sung Lily.

  The excitement of the next few days has certainly fired up her sunny personality. She is but a week and a half away from clean fresh air, differing weather conditions and not to be too dramatic but…the rest of her life!

  “Are you in shock? Do I need to splash you with sea water or slap you round the face?” he sarcastically quizzed

  “No, sorry, just thinking about the lanterns and how to use them. They are an important part of the décor for our Graduation Ball. We ascend in just over a week and I can’t afford for anything to go wrong,” I admitted

  Now it was his turn to look like he needed a slap. Only I think he really is in shock. I don’t think that he has any idea about the date change for The Harvest. He must still be under the impression that it is late October as usual.

  “Well that was a bolt out of the blue. Just over a week you say. I just can’t work out why it is that I have only just been able to hear you,” he asked.

  “I think it may have something to do with my Evo-gene. For obvious reasons it is growing in strength. Thanks for the lanterns, I will ensure that they are carefully handled and shall return them myself on the 7th of October, the day before The Harvest,” I concluded.

  With that, I turned, picked up the lanterns and moved towards the door.

  “It’s Willem by the way. My name, you may need to know to fill out the form.”

  “Thank you Willem. Goodbye,” I whispered as I left the room.

  Twelve

  September 28th

  Craig mate,

  I just had the most surreal experience with a Seeder. Long story really, but you asked for any information that didn’t quite add up and so here it is.

  Someone up on the surface has moved The Harvest date to October the 8th. Don’t know why, but I hope Natura has been contacted. She won’t like the short notice. She won’t be able to fit in her usual three weeks worth of necessary spa treatments, in order to avoid that haunted look she possesses in Intentionality!

  I also discovered that there are twins down here!

  Not sure whether that is a piece of really important information, but I have never seen twins down here before. Plus I think it’s really suspicious. That sort of ground-breaking development would usually be advertised to the max, as another sign of continual progress being made to rebuild and replenish.

  I may be able to contact the Seeder again if I am really careful, so let me know. Suddenly this mission is quite appealing.

  Will

  September 28th

  Luke,

  My contact came good. New date for Harvest, 8th October.

  What do you know about the use of twins in the Evo-gene process?

  Craig

  Thirteen

  “So you see dear, we need to devise a plan that suitably matches your individual talents, one that encompasses all the predictable paths that your life may lead during the next few months,” announced Mrs Alder.

  I have been asked to remain in the learning pod after everyone else has been excused. I am absolutely petrified. I can feel droplets of sweat spiralling out of control down my spine, my breathing is shallow which isn’t surprising as some invisible force has in fact gripped my wind-pipe and crushed it to half the natural size. My face is hot, my hands are cold. I am fighting the constant and absolute idea that it would be in my best interests to run, vanish, never to return. Could I make it to the air hole with the intention of leaping into the water? Could I run to the botanical gardens and live like a lost soul on an island for the rest of my days?

  Surely I wouldn’t have been allowed the comfort of my bed last night if my conversation with Willem had been observed. Maybe he was taken for questioning first and finally, after hours of interrogation, through lack of sleep and the need to drink was persuaded to admit to the illegal conversation we had.

  I have revisited that conversation on numerous occasions, not just now in my heightened state of paranoia. I don’t think we actually said any more than the polite pleasantries allowed. He was after all helping a maturing Seeder with a request for lamps. Nothing of ground-breaking controversy there!

  “Mae, you have been a constant worry to me. You try so very hard to disguise your disability. I really am a huge supporter of you and of course your sister. However, and I don’t say this lightly, due to very recent occurrences, I can no longer guarantee your predicted path to Ascension. Things in your life are going to change quite monumentally.”

  Breathe.
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  Breathe, don’t cry.

  Breathe, don’t cry and don’t transmit that information to Lily!

  It’s going black again. I can’t feel my fingers or toes. I am drowning in the air, can’t Mrs Alder see!

  Quite unexpectedly my head is an open room, there is no buzz, and I am devoid of the murmur. In its place there are my thoughts alone. This place is barren. I neither like it nor feel at home in it. I always thought that the buzzing was a brake to my learning process but now it has been taken away, I can see it has been the anchor, I desperately want it back.

  “Mae, I need you to choose a path, one that you would like to follow if you fail to ascend at The Harvest. Do you understand?” interrupted Mrs Alder.

  I had never really heard her tone before. It isn’t harsh at all; it’s actually quite soft and motherly.

  “Am I being punished? I only went to Deck Zero to find some torches for the Graduation Ball,” I admitted.

  “No dear child, I have once again calculated your rate of progress following the latest brain scan and it is with that information I am formulating a way forward for you, from what I predict to be a devastating time. I have always been here to guide you girls. I care for you as if you are my own. The thought that one of you will be separated is almost too much to contemplate,” revealed Mrs Alder

  I open the piece of carefully folded paper, beautifully inscribed with my name. It looks very much like a list of gifts to be considered with delight. Number One is completely out of the question. I will not and cannot bring myself to start the year over with a new enhanced learning group. Number Two is equally dismal and unimaginable, but infinitely better than what I expect Number One will turn into and that predictably is my repeated failure to ascend, initiating my perpetual return to the beginning of the accelerated class, following every Harvest.

  Number Two sees me as a young Mrs Alder, staying in The Nest. I would be trained to become a nurturing teacher, watching groups of Seeders succeeding where I could only fail. This option however alien is one that would, I assume give me the freedom to leave. I assume that I shall be classed as an Acer, and therefore be free to leave The Nest on occasion, possibly birthdays and such to visit Lily. Maybe there is a way to communicate with Lily via the internet each day, so that I can share in her experiences, also there is of course the vague possibility that once I am off the conveyor belt of pressurised learning, I can focus more on my natural skills. Maybe I can adapt a way of transmitting across a long range to Lily. That way we can both move on secure in the knowledge that we are both safe and well. I could then be of value down here in The Nest. I do after all have a communication gift. What better way to put that to use than through teaching.

  “Mrs Alder, I really appreciate your consideration, I know that I have not been the easiest and most rewarding student. Like you say it’s difficult to be conversant and logical with a constant drone in your mind. For my piece of mind, I really need to try to pass the Ascension test to be with Lily. You see it’s not just my future to consider here. Lily and I have a bond that goes beyond the usual friendship. We…”

  “Mae, I think that you misunderstood. I have no authority to allow you to miss The Harvest. You are a candidate with a reference code that must be engaged during The Harvest process. If that code is not activated then security will be alerted and The Harvest closed for further investigation. I can ask you to prepare yourself for the inevitable. Your scores are not improving quickly enough. In basic terms Mae, the power you emit is not of a high enough value to Intentionality at this moment in time. I have no doubt that the date change has everything to do with your predicament but I am in no position of authority to demand that the date be rearranged. I am so very sorry Mae, you must be devastated,” Mrs Alder whispered.

  She does appear to be honestly upset about the situation and not just a little bit frustrated by the sudden rescheduling. That makes me recall The Captain with his unannounced visit. She really is a small fish in a very large pond! How the table has turned, now I am feeling sorry for her. She is stuck in a loop. Not having the decision process at her command. The result is Mrs Alder, ‘island of knowledge, team of one’.

  “I have understood you Mrs Alder. You as my mentor have given me some very clear choices, for that I am grateful. I am obviously feeling extremely hostile towards the idea of repeating the class again, in turn raising my hopes each year, if actually my full potential power will never be of a premium. I agree that my disability is perhaps the place to apportion blame. However we shall never know about the cost of the rescheduling on my development either. It may only take another few months for me to be matured to the required threshold. I am hesitating to commit because I am not sure what a teaching post here in The Nest would entail. Would I even be suitable for that? You seem so very focussed and in tune with your students. I can imagine passing out in front of my pupils, during that information screening for instance,” I questioned.

  “That is a valid point Mae and it’s still not a certainty that you will be the only Seeder to fail the Ascension test. As you know two of your fellow candidates are in no fit state either. If they are to repeat, then perhaps you will feel comfortable to do so. If that really is not the option for you, then I do have the authority to organise a visit to your initial teaching placement if you like. Of course you would not be expected to teach Seeders initially. You would be assigned to teach basic reading, writing, mathematics and the sciences to the Mono children. I am scheduled to have a planning meeting with the teacher in charge tomorrow. You can think about your options overnight then meet me at the entrance to the Mono quarters in the morning. They register for eight o’clock, work through until lunch and then are timetabled for a safety talk on Deck Zero in preparation for their diving lessons next week,” Mrs Alder informed me.

  With that she opened the door and I walked into the path of the rest of my life. Lily and I shall have to talk about this later. She is already anxious about the monitors catching my conversation with Willem. I saw her face as I was called to stay back at the end of class. I honestly think she was more frightened than me! Thanks to my new and improved ability to cloak my transmissions to her and of course Willem, I have been able keep many aspects of my life from her recently. I suppose without doing it on purpose I have been trying to prepare her for our imminent separation.

  As the door to our pod slid open, I could see that Lily had been intensely searching for my communications. It hurts me to keep her in the dark and it physically tires her to search in vain. I think it may be the same as trying to tune in a radio for hours on end; it’s exhausting and frustrating.

  “Lily come sit with me on the bed. I have decisions to make that will alter our lives. I want you to know that I am attempting with all of my heart to remain by your side and I will continue to do that for as long as I am able. Mrs Alder has spoken to me and it’s not what you were worried about. No one saw me talking to Willem. Absolutely no one, but you and he know about our extra gift. I won’t make the requirements for Ascension Lily. You and I both knew that already. It’s not such a shock but unexpectedly I do have options.”

  Lily didn’t move, shout, cry, stomp or rock as I spoke. She seemed to hover weightlessly above the bed. Not daring I suppose to question, as that would inevitably create a new path for the future.

  “I shall be fine Lily. It’s not like I’m in any danger here. You shall be starting a new life, one of wonder, challenge and importance. It’s what we have been preparing for. My choices are straightforward. I can repeat in the hope that my Evo-gene can gather a significant amount of energy potential or I can submit to a life that is actually rewarding if not sophisticated. I can be a Mrs Alder recruit Lily, which, even in this extreme pressure cooker of a room is humorous and ironic. The worst of the best is to become a lesson giver for the future of our state! I can visit the Mono school tomorrow if I like, to see exactly what the job entails.”

  “Mae I just don’t know how to be without you. I breathe whe
n you do, I think what you think and I am what I am because of you. How can such a small blip in our DNA cause such a void? Why don’t I get the voices too? Can you feed them in to me during the Ascension test so that my mind is distracted also?” begged Lily.

  “Lily if I become a teacher, I think I shall be classed as an Acer like Mrs Alder. Surely then I get freedom privileges; maybe I can ask to be stationed on the surface to teach the Monos there. I truly believe I still have options. I am going to try Lily, I shall be working on full power to get to our goal, but if that does not work and you ascend on the 8th, I want you to remember that I’m not lost. I will not surrender. We shall experience Intentionality together. As usual, I shall be redirected that’s all.”

  I wish I could wholeheartedly believe the words exiting my mouth. I am quite impressed with myself; who says teaching is difficult? A rousing conversation, imparting of pre-learned knowledge, a little bit of nurturing, half days and think of all the holidays!

  Lily cuddled in after my revelations. The way she used to when we were five. She would move to my bed in the night to protect me from my dreams. I think secretly it was also to make her feel more secure. This is certainly the reason tonight. There’s nothing else she can do at this moment. Our little twin promise seems so brittle now, held by the thread of less than a week. ‘I am you; you are me, forever that shall be’. Little did we know that a miniscule glitch in our twin DNA would separate us so conclusively?

  I am lying awake pondering my future, no real need to rest and reserve my energy now. There is a craving from inside my brain. A new voice, it’s mine; it’s encouraging me to try out my transmitting skills. Could I contact Willem? Would he answer if I did? Gradually I lower the mental wall and let the thoughts of the day flood out in pictures so I don’t wake Lily.

  There has been no reply. I have tried for ten long minutes. I am clearly not as strong as I presumed. I am suddenly devastated. I had sneakily dared to believe that Lily and I would, after practise be able to communicate beyond The Nest if we needed to. I am now faced with reality. A lonely existence where my most genuine and powerful gift is hidden from view, rendered obsolete by my enforced separation.